DEAR DIARY; GOT SOME ONE-ON-ONE TIME IN WITH THE WALL TODAY. AS FAR AS LOVERS GOES SHE’S NOT VERY RECIPROCAL, BUT SEEING AS I DON’T REALLY HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO COMPARE AGAINST I’LL HAVE TO TAKE WHAT I CAN GET. THE WORST THING ABOUT LIVING SOMEWHERE SO COLD IS THAT MY IPOD KEEPS FREEZING UP, AND IT’S JUST SUCH A CHORE TRYING TO DEFROST IT, AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD, BECAUSE I HAVE THE CURE’S ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY ON THERE, DIARY, AND I CAN’T LISTEN TO IT IF THE STUPID THING TURNS INTO A PODSICLE! REMIND ME TO NEVER BUY HARDWARE FROM THE BOLTONS AGAIN. I HAVE DECIDED THAT FROM NOW I WILL WALK WITH A PERMANENT SLOUCH, AS HUNCHING OVER MY SHOULDERS IS A WAY TO EXPRESS BOTH THE BITTER COLD OF MY LIFE AND THE MANLY PAIN I FEEL WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I SELF EXILED MYSELF TO BE A WARRIOR MONK ON A GIGANTIC WALL OF ICE. THE FURS HELP. I MISS WINTERFELL’S MUSK. MAYBE I SHOULD GROW SIDEBURNS? I THINK THEY’RE SERVING TACOS WITH A SIDE OF GUACAMISERY TONIGHT. YOU KNOW HOW TORTILLAS MAKE THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH BURN, DIARY. NOTHING EVER GOES RIGHT!  

 #DEAR DIARY; THINGS AT THE WALL ARE NOT IMPROVING. I’M BETTER THAN EVERYONE AT EVERYTHING, AND IT IS INCREDIBLY DISHEARTENING. I’VE LIVED MY LIFE AS THE WINTERFELL BUTTBOY AND NOW I’M SUDDENLY THE BIG KAHUNA IN THIS GODFORSAKEN PLACE? LIFE MAKES A MOCKERY OF ME! NOT TO MENTION THAT BENJEN IS OFF BEYOND THE WALL BEING A ROCKSTAR AND I’M STUCK HERE EATING COLD SOUP AND BEMOANING GHOST WITH STORIES OF MY BASTARD UPBRINGING, AND HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN AND I THINK I MAY BE DRIVING HIM CRAZY, AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS A RABID DIREWOLF ON MY HANDS, AND I WOULD TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE BUT THAT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE HAVING FRIENDS, DIARY, AND YOU KNOW I’M NOT GOOD WITH THAT - YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME I TRIED TO BOND WITH THEON AND HE THREW SALT IN MY EYES? WE WERE SIX, DIARY. WE. WERE SIX. UGHHHH JUST THINKING ABOUT IT GIVES ME THE FROWNIES, SO I’M GOING TO GO TUNE INTO WESTEROS.FM JUST IN TIME FOR WOE IS ME HOUR, AND MAYBE THIS TIME I’LL CALL IN AND REQUEST BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES LIKE I’VE BEEN MEANING TO. KELLY CLARKSON IS A GIFT, DIARY, AND I WISH SHE WASN’T SO UNDERAPPRECIATED. HER LYRICS HIT ME ON THAT BASTARD LEVEL, YOU KNOW? TRANSECDENT STUFF. JON SNOW OUT  

#DEAR DIARY: I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL I’M GOING BEYOND THE WALL!!!!!!!! BETTER PACK MY COMB.

winteriscomingbitch:

Jon Snow’s latest diary entry courtesy of Miss Britney Spears.

winteriscomingbitch:

Good lord, Jon’s poetry is awful. Not that I’m surprised, typical emo shit.

An except from my super secret journal of poetry. I call this opus “Everyone Cries For The Starks, But No One Cries For A Bastard.”

apriki:

#dear diary: day started out well! lord ser oldyface gave me an awesome sword with a wolf carved into the hilt, and it’s totally dope!! way cooler than the wooden ones back at winterfell. i’m just going to ignore that the sword was meant for lord mormont’s actual son, and take this one as a win. Soon after the lads heckled me for a view of my new booty, Samwell informed me (albeit reluctantly, bless his coward heart), that Robb, my stalwart brother, has invaded the South in an attempt to free my father from his unjust bonds! Can you believe it? The sheer gall of Robb to launch an attack and not even raven me! I’m only at the Wall - it’s not like I’ve been completely wiped off the map, like those pesky Targaryens! (BTW diary, Old Blind Dude? TARGARYEN. DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING.) Well diary, this just won’t do. Robb’s going to get himself killed and Catelyn is going to somehow blame it on me and I’m not having a piece of it. I’m just going to have to take my bitchin new wolf sabre and join Robb’s army and that’s all there is to say about it.